Pursued

*You can find the previous post in this series here.

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells his disciples to pray like this:

Our Father in heaven,
    may your name be kept holy.
¹⁰ May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done on earth,
    as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today the food we need,
¹² and forgive us our sins,
    as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
¹³ And don’t let us yield to temptation,
    but rescue us from the evil one.

For yours is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory.

Forever and ever. Amen.

 This Lord’s Prayer lays out the grid for how humans are to live, work, and play—in allegiance to Christ and his kingdom. Yet our hearts perpetually battle between “your will be done” and “my will be done.” Genuine sheep acknowledge this heart battle and ask for the Lord’s help in submitting their will and desire for self-glory to his will and spreading his glory. False shepherds ultimately deny this heart battle and frame their lives around “My Kingdom come! My will be done.” They trade allegiance to Christ for allegiance to self and make the “Lord’s Prayer” all about ushering in their earthly kingdom:

Father, I thank you for conferring your

greatness onto me, as I stand in your place.

Please continue to give me my Best Life Now,

Make me great, for My Name’s Sake,
May my cup overflow with earthly resources,

Help me find My safe people, those loyal only to me,

And please destroy all the jealous ‘haters’

Who get in my way and threaten my position,

For mine is the Kingdom

And the power, and the glory

Forever and ever.

Amen.

At root, a false shepherd’s superiority narrative is about allegiance to the kingdom he builds to make his name great. He expects the sheep to sacrifice their lives in service to his kingdom. When the sheep refuse to conform, they become a threat to his kingdom flourishing. The shepherd then treats the sheep as enemies and sets out on a search and destroy mission to ensure his position and power. Jon and I have seen this battle of kingdom allegiances play out repeatedly in churches and families. Locating stories of church trauma and oppression within this battle for kingdom allegiances brings clarity amid what wounded sheep call “the fog of war.” Ultimately, the battle lines are not between the false shepherd and the sheep but between the false shepherd and God.

Throughout the Old Testament we read stories of shepherds and kings whose hubris grew with the size of their kingdoms until they believed they were God. There is something insane about a limited human thinking he can compete with God for first place. The story of the pagan King Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4) illustrates how unchecked pride leads to a break with reality and the delusional belief of being on par with God. In this real-life story, King Nebuchadnezzar becomes so prosperous and drunk on his own glory that he walks about his palace at ease, daydreaming. He dreams of a tree that grows so large and strong that it reaches to heaven and all the animals and birds from one end of the earth to another find shelter in its branches. Then a holy being comes out of heaven and commands that the tree be chopped down and its branches lopped off until only the stump remains. The stump is left alone in the fields for seven years so that everyone knows that God rules the kingdom of men (Daniel 4:18). Puzzled and frightened by this dream, the King asks Daniel (a Jewish captive devoted to God and gifted with insight into dreams) to interpret it. Daniel tells the king that he is the tree described in his dream and warns him that “Like the tree, you will be cut down from your high position and become like a mad beast for seven years, unless you repent of your pride and learn that God rules the kingdoms of men and gives them to whomever he wants.” Daniel exhorts the King to humble himself, stop sinning, and show mercy to the poor and oppressed.

But Nebuchadnezzar, just like the false shepherds in Ezekiel 34, continues to oppress the poor and grow fat on the backs of their labor. His kingdom becomes all about making himself, not God, glorious. One day Nebuchadnezzar walks across the vast roof of his palace, looks out at the city below, puffs up his chest, and declares, “Look at this great city of Babylon! By my own mighty power, I have built this beautiful city as my royal residence to display my majestic splendor” (Daniel 4:30, NLT). Nebuchadnezzar, blinded by hubris, forgets that it is God who gave him his kingdom. Immediately, Nebuchadnezzar’s dream becomes reality—he leaves his throne, turns into a wild beast, and lives in the wild like an animal for seven years. His punishment illustrates the nature of pride: a form of insanity that says, “I am God.” To illustrate the delusional nature of pride, God turns Nebuchadnezzar into pride itself—a beast without reason who is isolated from all human relationship. Pride often results in a sense of “aloneness” and isolation from others because prideful people separate themselves from those they see as beneath them and irritate many others with their condescending attitude. For seven years, the king eats grass and sleeps in the wild with other animals. At the end of seven years, Nebuchadnezzar’s madness lifts when he acknowledges God as King over all the kingdoms of the earth. Rather than think more highly of himself than he ought, Nebuchadnezzar sanely declares: “God’s kingdom endures forever! I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of Heaven.” Sanity is found in living life in submission to God and his kingdom and seeking to make His name great. 

In the New Testament, the story of Diotrephes (3 John) provides a template for identifying the tactical playbook of a leader who lives for his kingdom and to make his name great. In this short New Testament epistle, the apostle John writes to a good pastor, Gaius, affirming his love for the flock and how he supports and encourages itinerant preachers who are “fellow workers for the truth” (vs. 8) and preach “for the sake of the name [of Christ]” (vs. 7). Gaius, desiring to see Christ’s kingdom flourish, gives time, energy, and resources to these traveling preachers. The apostle John commends Gaius for putting Christ’s kingdom, not his own, first in his ministry priorities.

 John then identifies a man of power and influence within Gaius’ church who “loves to put himself first.” Diotrephes, a first century false shepherd, desires to be superior in his church and resents the time and energy Gaius gives the traveling preachers. Rather than humble himself and support the preachers (and leaders who affirm them), Diotrephes talks “wicked nonsense” behind their backs, sowing doubt and confusion in the wider flock. Not only that, Diotrephes shuns the preachers, encourages others in the flock to do the same, and then kicks out anyone who disagrees with him! In this short narrative, we have the bare bones of a false shepherd’s playbook:

a) above all, put yourself “first,”

b) gossip and slander anyone who gets in the way of making yourself first

c) refuse to listen to those who confront your sin

d) sow doubt and confusion in the flock, and

e) kick opposition out of the church.

These basic tactics of power and control are utilized by the false shepherd to keep himself first in his little kingdom. Identifying and understanding how these tactics are used helps sheep de-personalize the shepherd’s cruelty and place blame where it belongs—in the shepherd’s heart. In my own journey through church trauma and oppression, I’ve found hope, freedom, and clarity through applying the grid of “kingdom allegiances” to my experiences. I also discovered that my loyalty to church and family was greater than my loyalty to Christ. This realization, though painful—grace is often painful—helped me move away from bondage to church and family to freedom in Christ. My hope is that in sharing some of my story, other scattered sheep can make sense of their suffering and begin to identify the places they too are prone to trading allegiance to Christ for allegiance to church, family or ________.

Reflection

• In our sinfulness, we humans are prone to building our own kingdoms. These kingdoms are often built around our perceived strengths and/or areas of deep wounding. What is your heart prone to building your life around? Church? Family? Comfort? Performance? Peace? Affirmation? Justice?
• How did your own faulty allegiances make you vulnerable to exploitation by others? For example, if you are prone to building your “kingdom” around the affirmation of others, how did the false shepherds in your story exploit your desire for affirmation?

You can find other posts in this series here.