The anniversary of my birth caught me by surprise last week.
This year, instead of wallowing in the darkness of what never was or will be, I looked out and drank in the beauty of boys whispering in the kitchen: “We gotta cook coffee beans in the chocolate. Lots. Mom likes coffee, you know,” and a husband dousing fire in the microwave. I soaked in the bashful-proud boy lugging a tray of treats through my bedroom door, handing me a pile of crayon-colored cards scribbled with boyish musings— “Thank you for washing my clothes and making me food,”
—and colored pencil sketches capturing the little things that are really big things—
This year, when laughing blue-eyed friends spilled through the front door with a river-blue cake saying “Surprise!” and dropped a bush of purple mums on my front porch, the kids came tumbling out of bed and down the stairs and we ate cake and talked too late.
This year my Father’s love carried me.
I’ve known the truth–“Even if my mother and father abandon me, the Lord will hold me close!”
This year I believed it in the soul of me, and opened up to joy all around.
To rejoice in my lot in life, this is a gift from God.
For we will not remember much the days of our lives—
The things we had (or didn’t), the places we traveled (or didn’t), the success we had (or didn’t), the good gifts we had (or didn’t).
All is nothing in the end.
He keeps us occupied with joy in our heart.*
And gives us more of everything in Him.
Project Pursued Questions
- When change is slow, what do you do? Give up? Fall into depression? Distract yourself? Embracing God’s timing in bringing you out of the darkness is hard–but he promises to complete the work he began in you, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. The goal is simply to turn more quickly to Him. How can you turn to him right now?
* Ecclesiastes 5:20